What are the wishes of a 3 year old?
I find my daughter incredibly tiring and demanding at this age (3 years old). I believe a lot of her frustration comes from wanting to do her own thing and instead being told what to do and what not to do all the time. I certainly wouldn’t want to live in a world where someone tells me what to do every second of the day.
An activity that I like to fit in at least once a week is to ask her what she wants to do and let her dictate every single thing. This is obviously best done when my 1 year is not with us!
It is always interesting to see what my daughter asks to do and how much she enjoys ordering me around. Here is a list of things she regularly chooses:
- Going to the park for a picnic
She tells me which blanket, toys etc we are going to take. She has to pack everything and I am “not allowed to touch!”. She tells me what food we are taking, and what container it will be packed in and once again she is in charge of packing. The only thing I am allowed to do is hold her up so she can reach into the fridge/ cupboard to get supplies. She sometimes tells me that we have to go to the shop to get hot chippies or pink cooldrink. When we get to the park she also continues with her bossiness. Telling me what I am allowed to eat or drink and when. Very often half way through eating something she tells me to put it down because I am “finished eating” and if I don’t listen to her I have to go sit in my room and think about what I have done!
- Go for a walk
We live in a lovely quiet complex with a dirt road and on the one side is two big sections of lawn, it is her favourite spot to walk to and then fool around on the grass. There are two roads to the grass, and she makes a point of deciding which way we are going to walk and which section of grass we are going to. When we get there she tells me to sit “here in the shade”, then I have to get up and move to another spot and we have to “sit in a circle”…. then we have to sit next to each other. She tells me to then lie on my back and then my stomach. It is simply put an exercise in bossiness and seeing if I will obey her which I do. I get told to take my shoes off and then put them on, over and over again. Sometimes we walk to the beach and the whole time I am also told where to sit, what position to be in and moved around. Burying our feet and taking them out again is hot on the beach to do list.
- Have a picnic on the floor at home
This involves her setting out a picnic, choosing the food (always interesting mixes of cuisine!) and what we will eat with. She usually requests a glass because she is a big girl. (Usually I have her use plastic cups, bowls, plates etc). Very often her dolls join us too.
- Talking/ singing about Barbie
I’m not sure what the obsession is about Barbie or where it comes from but she is crazy about Barbie (Barbie in the Pink Shoes from the dvd to be specific). She tells me to sing a song about Barbie in the Pink Shoes… I have to really wing it here with no singing talent and not much creativeness when it comes to this sort of thing. Often it also involves “calling” Barbie in the Pink shoes, she pretends to call Barbie on my phone, then hands over to me and I have to have an imaginary conversation.
- Dress up
She opens my cupboard and tells me what to wear and then goes and dresses herself up. She usually gets us in outfits matching or close to matching. She then requests her hair to be brushed and tied up in various ways. She then does my hair in return. It also involves me putting make up on us both and playing with my jewellery.
Every time I tell her it is her special time to decide what we do her face lights up with joy and she takes a long time to think and decide, then she scrunches up her nose and puts in her request hoping it will be granted. When she asks to go to the park with the swings and I say yes and ask her what we will pack I can see the happiness and excitement on her face as she immediately starts to boss me around and take over.
It is interesting to note that every time I do this activity with her she chooses something that involves me (a lot!), imaginary play and bossing me around. Not once has my child chosen something like playing with my ipad, watching something on tv or eating sweets or chocolates. It just goes to show how much she values spending one on one time with me, it is a special bonding moment where she gets to call all the shots for a change.