How to be an IN mom

How to be an IN mom?

Do you really want to know how to be an in mom? I’ll walk you right through how to do this, because really it is quite simple.

Have you ever read any of those books on the power of positive thinking or how to think yourself to success? This is really important here right, because seriously who decides who is in and who is out?




This really reminds me of when I was a school pupil because there is the so called in crowd but who exactly elects them to be there? But somehow some group of kids in the school becomes known as the “in crowd”.

Seriously the moms and kids of the school don’t all get together and vote you in to that place of in mom or cool kid!

Its quite funny because my younger sister and I were talking about the “cool crowd” at school and she told me she thought I was in the “in crowd” and I so wasn’t. I was the black sheep, the juvenile delinquent, the girl that was dating the bad boy a few grades up… but I was so not cool.

I was the alcoholic and the drug addict that had the trashy reputation. Thankfully now I am clean and behaving a lot better!

Oh by the way, if you want to read about my addiction, I wrote an ebook about it and I’m selling it on Fiverr for just $5.

So you might wonder why I’m talking about school here when the topic is how to be an in mom… well it is quite simple, this is just like school all over again.

How to be an in mom

If you want to be an in mom you must just believe you are.

And once you believe you are the in mom then you must start acting like it, that’s it really. I truly believe that is all you need to do. Dress up for the occasion of course, you can’t be like me that just throws on any old worn, comfy jersey and old jeans to drop your kids off at school.

Along with believing you are in, you now need to act the part. You must dress up nicely for each occasion of entering the school grounds. Put something nice on, splash on a little make up and off you go mommy.

No running in with the same top your kids just decorated with toothpaste!




Taking part in all the school’s activities is also essential, and bossing the other moms around like you own the place is also absolutely vital to this role.

A good example of this a few months back was at my kids playschool and they were asking moms to help dish out some food at an event. I agreed to help, I got there early and I checked with the teacher where I must stand, what food I am giving out… all organized right? So I rush out of the event and I get to my table only to be confronted with ladies that are already there and organized.

So I ask are we dishing together? No actually they have decided that moms must just pitch in wherever they like and that things are working differently… you know like differently to the way the school decided and instructed barely an hour previously? So they have decided that this is their table.

Oh man this sort of thing just annoys me because I like to pitch in and help but I have no time for silliness and in moms taking over.

On the other hand of course they decided to take over my job right?

So after standing around for a few minutes feeling like an idiot wondering what I should do I came to the conclusion that they have taken over what I was supposed to be doing so I got them to dish me up some food.

Talking to some friends of mine they say that this sort of thing happens all the time, just wait till you get to the Primary Schools and the High Schools… apparently it is even worse!

When I told my buddy what happened to me (she wrote the Tiring Toys guest post) she shared something that had me in stitches with a sore stomach laughing. Her kids are in a local Primary School here and there was an event that once again all the moms are begged to help with setting up. So she agreed (against her better judgement she says) and when she arrived the task on hand was to stick art work up around the hall.

The in moms were doing the sticking of the art work and the so NOT in moms, like her, were instructed by the in moms to work the Prestik… do you know what I mean? Yes they had to work it with their fingers, to warm it up for the in moms.

Are you laughing yet?

Because every time I picture this in my head I start laughing… and no not a cool mom laugh either. The real laughter, the snorting type of laugh because that’s the kind of mom I am.




Now that I have spoken to a good number of moms about this it turns out that this is such a common problem. In every school there is a bunch of moms that form a little “in” click.

They have decided that they are the in moms.

They make it unpleasant for other moms to join in and help when they are asked by the school.

All I can say is that if you want to be an in mom, well go for it I guess but really if that is what is so important to you, just know that firstly you are fodder for my blog.

Secondly while you think you are so cool and running the show, that’s fine with with me but just know that all the non-cool moms are drinking coffee and having a good giggle at your expense.

Just spare a thought for the poor teachers since they are the ones that ultimately pay the price. I felt just awful when my two year old’s teacher asked me to help serve coffee at my kids concert and I told her not a chance in hell will I ever again come and be subjected to the bitchiness and silliness that goes on with the in crowd moms.

I’m sorry but I was in school already and I did my time. I have been through all the juvenile rubbish already, the last thing I want now is to have to face the same sort of childish nonsense every time the school needs some help or throws an event.

For me I will come to the concert early, I will help to get the kids ready and I will pitch in quietly and take part in my own way. I will enjoy my kids concert and while the in mom wannabees fight to be the queen bee, I will be sitting with my kids eating pancakes.

I don’t want to be the in mom. I want to be the happy, comfy mom, with good friends… that warm their own Prestik.

What do you think of in moms? Have you experienced anything like this?

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17 comments

  1. Happy Prestik warming mom here 🙂 I think, in a way, you have to admire the pure chutzpah and determination it must take to be an in mom. I mean, where do they find the time for perfectly manicured everything (including children) and still do everything we sloppy, hot mess moms are doing while we barely keep our heads above water? I just don’t have it in me. I’d rather be what I am and hope we all survive it.

    • Oh I am sure they work very hard at it Lisa, so yes you have to admire them in a way. But mostly I just feel so sad for them, I would rather spend my time and energy on my kids and making sure that we have fun times.

  2. You didn’t even hear my story about helping in the tuck shop at sports day! I was assigned a shift selling toasted sandwiches and I strolled in, ready to help, at the appointed time, only to find that the little building was full of women who had clearly known each other since their little darlings were in nursery school together. I tried, hey. I really tried to help out and join in conversations and they literally shut me down as a group. They had enough hands between them and didn’t care what I had to add to any conversation they were having to the point where I said something and one of them looked at me and then went back to the conversation as though I wasn’t there. If it hadn’t been so laughably bizarre, I probably would have run out of there crying like a little girl rejected on a playground.

    • I know what you mean Lisa, I always greet people in a school situation so if I walk past another mom I always say hi…. but there are some moms that just give a frosty look.

      I don’t understand it myself, but it must be that those moms are really in a bad space internally. How can you be truly happy when you behave like such a bitch to other people? I don’t think it is possible!

  3. This is Hysterical for me!! Luckily i have not had this experience yet, but my little one starts Grade 000 next year in her big school. Let’s see how it goes, as i too would rather be a prestik worker than a highly strung in mom 😛

    • Tamara you will see it, so be prepared. It can honestly be like a slap across the face if you are not expecting it.

      If you know it happens then you will be better prepared and able to laugh it off. I am glad I could help you with the preparation… oh and my experience of this has been in playschool, this is not even primary school! I had better buckle up for the ride right?

      • Buckle up, put on your armour, grab your weapon of choice and hold on tight. You have one year left before your little princess joins the ranks of primary school. It’s not so different really but there are a lot more in mommies and a lot more supposed “pressure” on the kids to be in as well.

      • Thanks for the heads up Lynne… will definitely be more prepared for it now 😛

  4. Really enjoyed this post! I see this in my daughter’s school the very few days I decide to pick her up (those days that you need to go only for a good enough reason). Also it’s always on those few days that I awkwardly walk past a click of mums that have been waiting atleast 20-30min early for their kid to finish school for day…like where’s the time to wait around? Anyways, as I walk past them sitting at the table and benches, you can’t help but catch them watching you dressed all shabby and seeing you walk briskly in a hurry (cos you have other important things to do in your day than sit and chit chat). They dress so neat and smart with make up – lipstick and eyeshadow…these are the same mums who have time to frost cupcakes ‘professionally’ for cake sales… #justsaying

    • Yes I know what you mean, it seems the PTA is also riddled with in moms. This just makes it really uncomfortable and unpleasant for any other mom to take part doesn’t it?

      I make really cool cupcakes, they are really yummy and nice… except they don’t look so good, they are skew and squiff… oh and that have usually all been licked by my two year old first. I try and stop him but I never succeed in being able to make the cupcakes and ice them without him licking most of them.

      And yes I am always a little shabby too, but its because I’m comfy in my old clothes and really when you are trying to ice cupcakes with a licky two year old around its best to wear something old right? We love making cupcakes at home in the afternoons. We don’t take them to the school cake sales, we just lick them, then eat them.

  5. You should have said yes to the coffee this time, it turned out to be a lot of not in moms getting to know each other and laughing a lot 🙂 Or maybe now that we’ve spend time together, we have unknowingly upgraded ourselves to the next level of becoming a in-mom cliche hahahahaha.
    I must admit I also hate it when people make me feel like I am back in school again, but being a busy mom has got some advantages – like for example, you just don’t have time to give a shit about what other moms think of you 😉

    • Ilze well I can agree with you on that one, I am way too busy to give a shit what the in moms think. My family comes first and what happens with my kids interests me, things outside just don’t really feature very high for me.

      No, I think that there have been a different bunch of moms helping out, I did pancakes the next day and it was a lovely group of moms. I don’t know who they all were.

      Perhaps the fact that I brought it up with the school and made it clear exactly what I thought about it, and more importantly how it will affect the amount of help that the school gets from parents made a difference?

      The difference with you is that you have always been happy and friendly. Sorry but you will never be an “in mom” in a click with your friendly nature, epic fail 🙂

  6. The only persons i wanna be a “in mom” to is my baby girl and husband!!! I dont need to impress anyone else cause they are the only ones i live for.
    We don’t need that at all!!!

  7. Enjoyed the post thx lynne im not yet involve with schools and other moms

    • Just brace yourself for it @lisaanderson and my kids are only in pre-school LOL. I have heard it gets so much worse in primary school.

      Oh well I just blog about it. I have more inspiration now because of those types of moms LOL.

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