If you have recently married someone with children and if you have children of your own, you could be excited about being a part of a big, happy family. However, you might have found that blending your two families together is more difficult than you thought it would be. This is totally normal, and even if things seem to be getting off to a rather rocky start right now, you shouldn’t assume that your dream of having a big, happy family will never be a reality. Instead, consider these tips to help make adapting to your new family dynamic a little bit easier.
Understand That It Will Take Time
First of all, you have to be patient. You might have envisioned the kids immediately wanting to spend time with one another and the entire family getting along beautifully right away, but things often don’t work that way. The more that you push everyone, however, the worst that things can go. Understanding that blending two families together can require a lot of patience and a little bit of time can help make things easier and and less frustrating for you.
Avoid Trying to “Replace” the Others in the Children’s Lives
You might feel as if you are supposed to take over the role of “mom” or “dad” in your spouse’s children’s lives now that you are all a family. However, it is important not to try to replace anyone who the children care about, regardless of the circumstances. Instead, try to be your own person and to get close to the child in your own way.
Communicate with Your Spouse
Communicating with your spouse during this process is very important. After all, if the two of you are not on the same page, then it’s going to be even harder for you to get the kids on board and to get along. Making sure that these conversations are private and away from the children is also important.
Focus on Being Civil and Respectful
Many people think about children not being respectful. However, adults are sometimes be disrespectful toward children as well. Even if your newly blended family is having some growing pains right now, it is important to always focus on at least being civil and respectful toward one another, even when you don’t agree or necessarily get along well.
Look Into Counseling
Even though the kids in the family might be less than excited about the idea of doing so, encouraging everyone in the family to seek counseling and therapy can actually be very helpful as your new family is getting adjusted. The kids might have issues that they want to talk about in regards to their parents’ divorce, for example, or they might need help with coping with the major family changes that are going on right now. If everyone gets professional help with these things, it can be beneficial for the entire family.
Being a part of a blended family can be a wonderful thing, but it can also be difficult at times. There can definitely be an adjustment period, and you shouldn’t expect for everything to be perfect right away. If you follow these tips and have a little bit of patience, you might find that your new family will “blend” together and bond together more easily and quickly than you thought.
Jordan is the beauty and brains behind ! She loves eating healthy and trying new recipes.The self-proclaimed Zumba Queen has a passion for beauty products and loves reading new books. She’s always down for a DIY project!
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Also published on Medium.