Kaboutjie SA Mommy Blogs by Lynne Huysamen
Your family is one of the reasons why you’re “you” today. You owe a lot to them and you know that without their love and support, you wouldn’t be where you are today. They’re the people you think about whenever you’re going through something, and the same people, you want to share your successes with. That’s why, as much as possible, you want your relationship with your family members to be in tact in the years to come – and one way of achieving that goal is through family counselling. Contrary to popular belief, you shouldn’t sign up for family counselling only when your family members are chaotic; your family may need family counselling if these signs are already present:
- Family members have uncontrollable feelings of anger, hopelessness or sadness: It’s normal for human beings to feel angry, hopeless or sad especially when the situation calls for it. But if your family members are experiencing these emotions that it already hinders them to function at school, work or home, it might be the reason for conflicts to arise over time. For instance, if someone is considered as the breadwinner of the family and he’s unable to work because of depression, children’s schooling might be disrupted in the process.
- Family members feel disconnected from activities which they loved before: Back when you were still young, you can remember you and your siblings playing happily with several games but lately, this doesn’t happen anymore. Some of your siblings feel like they’re no longer part of the family and they’d choose to distant themselves. This kind of situation can be minimized if everyone in the family actually sits down to talk. But if this isn’t looked into, your family members might end up losing that connection with you. Your communication and relationship with them might be ruined without you even noticing it.
- Family members are using alcohol or drugs to cope: Alcohol and drugs are often the easiest way to get through trying times. This is one way for people to cope from the stress they’re feeling. So if you notice that a relative has been abusing alcohol or drugs too often, it’s safe to assume that the family member might be going through something and just opt not to share it with anyone within the family.
- Your friends have commented about your relationship: Most of the time, people can’t accept the fact that their family is falling into pieces – and friends around will be the ones to notice that this is indeed happening. When your friends do tell you about what they see about your family, have the time to listen and consider what they’re saying. Don’t be offended with their comments but use these for your family to improve.
Ticking at least one of these signs is more than enough reason for you to seek family counselling. If you think you and your family members are experiencing any of these, talk to a professional right away. Don’t wait for things to worsen.
In Conclusion
No matter what you’re going through in life, your family will always have your back. They’ll accept you regardless of the decisions you made and will make in the future – and this is why you should maintain a good relationship with all of them. Ensure that the closeness you have right now, will be the same closeness your kids will experience in the future. For you to do just that, consider seeking professional help whenever needed through counselling. This can do wonders for everyone! And if you’re still unsure as to where you can acquire such a service, you can start looking at what psychologists like Endeavour Wellness can offer. Working with a psychologist or with any other professionals might seem unconventional for some, but if you’re really looking after your family members, it’ll be a risk worth taking.
About The Author
Joel Curtis is a registered Psychologists with Endeavour Wellness and has over 17 years of experience. Joel holds a Masters’ Degree in Psychology from Western Sydney University. Joel owns a number of private practices in Sydney and provides expert content for several national TV and Radio programmes.
Great article Joel.
Having a happy family home takes work and it is good to know what to be on the look-out for. My little JD is only 21 months old at the moment but already showing signs of a blooming and also feisty personality.
When they are small it’s easier to see what sets them off or makes them happy.
But when they get older it will be more challenging I’m sure.
I don’t even want to think about ever getting to the point where I’m thinking that my family is falling apart. But in this modern times we have to consider all the options.
Back in the day people were not facing the same challenges that we are today. And most days it feels like things are getting worse instead of better.
It is important to stay grounded and to pay attention and treasure our family members. As you mentioned, they know us best and support us through everything.
And with suddenly losing my Dad last year I realize even more that we have to work even harder at maintaining a stable and happy home because tomorrow isn’t promised.
It’s not too late to make changes today.
The part of the article that has really caught my attention was this point in particular: “Your friends have commented about your relationship”
Why is it that we live in a world where we have a mindset that we need a happy family to such an extent that we fail to see when something goes wrong, as we just refuse to believe it. I have seen this occurring twice in a row and he family members were in denial. Until the family member had reached a breaking point, which could have been avoided if the family members intervened at an earlier stage.