Not the same woman

It is an undisputed fact that we are can only be born and die once, but being a woman seems to have multiple layers of newness and beginnings. We are constantly evolving as women.

Our approach, interpretation and understanding of the world is totally different from that of men. We are on a continuous journey, dealing with major issues on a physical and emotional level.

And more often than never, the two seldom blend!

You experience mood swings long before you have your period or not. Your hip circumference ; and often exceeds the size of your baby bump!

So how can we be expected to be the same woman all day, week, month or year?

Only a woman who has been there and experienced the joys and fears of motherhood, who will have an understanding smile when seeing a mom going through the motions of motherhood – whether it’s pregnancy or a toddler tantrum. And what feels like a lifetime soon disappears and ushers in a new stage.

Your big belly becomes a baby, which becomes a busy toddler and so it goes. How exactly do we experience these stages?

• Pregnancy is both physically and emotionally taxing and is accompanied by rational and mostly, irrational feelings. Your body prepares itself for the 9 month-long journey to motherhood.
• Giving birth comes with its own challenges and options. Home birth vs hospital; natural vs c-section; and the list continues.
• Naming of the baby – do we follow family tradition or go completely modern?
• Are you going to breastfeed or bottle feed your offspring? Will the baby sleep in its own bed or with you?
• The toddler stage and it’s demands!!! All the expert advise and horror stories…
• First year of school; extra murals; homework and choice of school!
• Teenagers!!! Enough said.

How do you remain stable? How do you maintain your precious sanity, in a world where virtually everything is influenced by the latest trends, new and constantly changing information… Which option is the best?

This can drive any woman to the brink of insanity, but such as life is – we find that every challenge presents itself with a workable solution.

Breathing deeply has never worked in my personal experience, but talking to other moms and friends often reveal that expert advise is overrated, research is often geared towards the promotion of specific products; what worked today could be illegal tomorrow, etc.

There is no point is pursuing perfection when dealing with yourself and womanhood, it steals the joy of learning through error – believe me that you would not be the first or only woman who made an unintentional mistake.

The feeling of  being overwhelmed is nothing compared to the euphoria of achievement; and is often the catalyst for growth especially for first time moms.

Thrust yourself into confident momhood! One step at a time.

1. Don’t judge yourself too harshly.
2. Those who understand, have been there and done that.
3. Textbooks and magazines are often best, serving as a footrest.
4. There is some truth in old wives tales and remedies.
5. There is no better cure than a good sleep to rest your body and mind.
6. You are always going to be emotional about any decision which involves your children. Get used to it; it’s not a sign of weakness – it is called parenting!
7. It is a stage not a life sentence. You will get through and over it!
8. Your support system is there to support you, accept their help (without shame!)

Finding the balance between the circumstance, the body and emotions often lie in trusting, your x-factor. Your natural instinct might not be accurate but it is much closer to you, than some learned stranger who has never been a woman as fabulous and confident as you!

Guest Post by Thea Drift-Mendlula

Who am l? A forty something year old woman on a quest, playing many roles as I grow.
Cupcakenism is about passion, love, parenting, baking and momism. I share my experiences as wife, mother of three, woman, educator and entrepreneur through words.

Twitter: @cupcakenism

Instagram: _cupcakenism

Facebook: Cupcakenism

Pinterest: Thea Drift-Mendlula