It is a sad reality that half of all marriages are likely to end up in divorce. Divorce on its own is difficult and when there are children involved it can get complicated and more traumatic for everyone involved.
If you are getting divorced without having any children involved you can walk away from your ex and you may never have to deal with him or her ever again. However when there are children involved the marriage will end but you will still need to be involved with your ex indefinitely to communicate about your children.
There will also be occasions where you need to attend events together as a family even though you are no longer married. Think of your child’s school events, school graduation, college or university graduation, birthday party celebrations, wedding and even the birth of your grandchildren.
Here are some tips for co-parenting:
Put Your Differences Aside
You will probably be feeling a lot of anger and hurt after your divorce, that is completely natural. Try to work through this on your own or with a counselor and make a decision to put your differences aside for the sake of your children.
You need to be able to put the needs of your children first without letting your personal feelings get in the way.
It may sound strange but you could even go for counseling together after your divorce. Yes you are no longer a couple but you need to find a way to communicate well and how to work together as a team. Seeing a counselor together can help you both to put up healthy boundaries and to work out a way to co-parent well together.
You don’t have to like your ex or spend lots of time together, but you do need to be able to work together in a mature way when it comes to your children.
Custody and Child Support
Find a good attorney like Tampa Divorce Attorneys that specialize not only in divorce but also with child support and custody.
When you are trying to work out a custody and child support arrangement remember to always keep your children’s best interests at heart. While a 50/ 50 custody arrangement sounds great on the face of it will it really be the best thing for your children? It may be more stable for your children to stay with one parent all the time and visit the other parent on weekends and holidays.
While you may want to have full custody of your children it may best for your ex to have full custody. It is also important to keep in mind that while in the past it was very common for mothers to be awarded full custody this is changing and fathers can also get awarded full custody.
This is something that your lawyer can help you with.
It is also important to keep the custody arrangement and child support separate. If your ex is unable to pay the amount of child support you would like this is not a reason to keep your ex from seeing his or her kids.
These are two distinct issues in the eyes of the law and they should be two separate issues when it comes to how you parent your kids. Your ex has a right to see his or her kids and to have a say in how they are parented even if they can’t or won’t pay child support.
What is working very well today may not work so well tomorrow. It is important to regularly review custody arrangements and child support agreements to ensure that your children are well looked after financially and that their living arrangements are working well.
As your children get older they may want to have more of a say of where they want to stay and when, try and give your children more control as they grow older.
It is inevitable that both parties will at some stage enter new relationships and may get remarried. Change is not always easy, but letting go of negativity and welcoming your ex’s new partner will be more beneficial for your children than if you have to resist change.
Try to embrace change and to get to know your ex’s new partner with an open mind. Anyone that enters your life or your ex’s life will play a part in your children’s lives too.