Have you gotten to the point where you are starting to question where your marriage is going, or have things changed to such a stage that you are not even sure if the relationship can get back on track? It is normal for relationships to go through changes over time, but it can also be very easy for partners to slip into discontent and start taking their significant others for granted. Having kids can add even more strain on a relationship, particularly when there are limitations on time you are able to spend with your partner. Things in a relationship can become a little too comfortable, but it is essential to work on making time for your partner to prevent your relationship from dwindling down the road of no return.
How can you prevent your relationship flame from going out completely?
Communication is vital in any relationship. It’s helpful to share your feelings with your partner if you feel neglected or you merely need a hug or talk to issues that affect both of you. Try to make extra time to spend alone time together. If this means you’ll have to swop a few things around in your schedule and getting more organised in getting the kids a little earlier off to bed, then that is precisely what you need to do. Maybe arrange for a sitter or a family member to take care of the kids for one night and plan a romantic dinner with candlelight. It can be problematic for parents to let go and forget about mommy and daddy-related issues for a small while. But it is manageable, and you can easily pick up your parenting roles again without forgetting who you were as a couple before having kids.
Ask yourselves if you still want to share a life together
The added stress of finances while running a household can take its toll but what if you’ve reached the point where you’re starting to question whether to still want to be together as a couple. Sometimes it is inevitable for a relationship to disintegrate and if you start having feelings of your relationship being at the stage where it is impossible to rekindle it, it may be worth your while to consider professional support. You can go for couples counseling to assess whether your relationship is worth saving. If you have mutually agreed to end the relationship and you have kids, it is worth sitting down and discussing how to best support your children through the separation process. Many parents acknowledge the impact that such a decision can have on their children. In many cases, children’s behaviour starts deteriorating when they are having feelings of insecurity once they realize that things between their parents are not going well and younger kids in particular blame themselves. It is essential to re-assure them about how much you and your partner love them and that they play no part in your decision of getting a divorce.
A relationship therapist can offer dedicated relationship counseling to couples who are going through a divorce or separation. Marriage counseling is for people who feel that they can benefit from professional and dedicated support. It doesn’t matter what stage you are at, whether you are in the beginning of a relationship or looking to end one relationship and enter another. These professionals can guide you through it.
What are the signs of a healthy relationship?
- Not being hesitant about speaking your mind
You should feel completely comfortable in saying what needs to be said, expressing your feelings and thoughts.
- You like who you are when you’re around your partner
You feel comfortable and good about yourself when you are with your partner, like you are still being yourself.
- Trusting each other
A healthy relationship entails trust on every level. This means trusting that your partner wouldn’t do anything that would hurt you physically or emotionally.
- You’re feeling complete and balanced
Every relationship has ups and downs but having disagreements doesn’t mean your relationship is unhealthy. Having disagreements mean that you and your partner are communicating your differences instead of avoiding major issues. Feeling balanced means that you are treating each other as equals.
- You’re feeling safe
A great relationship is making you feel safe. You don’t feel afraid or anxious when you are in the same room as your partner. You can relax, irrespective of where you are when you’re spending time together. In a good relationship, partners have respect for each other, encourage each other, are kind to each other and admire your individual qualities.