Picking Your Battles

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This topic contains 2 replies, has 3 voices, and was last updated by  Tamara 3 months, 3 weeks ago.

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  • #22092

    Angie
    Participant
    Fan Points: 0

    One of the things that I hate the most is when a parent says “sometimes you just have to pick your battles”. Yes I agree that you do not want to argue with your child about every thing, but YOU are the parent and what you say goes. When I was growing up, that phrase was never said in my home. If my mom wanted it one way and I wanted it another, I lost. Why? Because she was the parent, not me.
    I ask this because last week I met with a friend for coffee. She brought her daughter, who is 5 with her. We met at 7:30- a breakfast coffee. My friend showed up with her daughter sucking on a lollipop and carrying a Snickers candy bar. She was like “I could not get her out of the house unless I let her have the candy bar and then she saw the lollipop in the car. I did not want to fight her. You know that sometimes you just need to pick your battles.” I was floored. I am sorry but my Ella will never get her way like that.

    #22176

    Lynne Huysamen
    Keymaster

    I don’t give my kids sweets for breakfast but I do find at times that I do need to pick my battles.

    I agree with you that I am the parent and I also lay down the lay with most things. The problem comes in that there are days that all I hear is my own voice laying down the law.

    Sometimes when this happens and I am really hard on my kids I ensure that the most important things I enforce but to give them a little air I let a few little things slide.

    I know that being consistent is so important but I also don’t want my kids having their days filled with constant NO’s.

    It is a very careful balancing act that I find myself walking a lot of time. I do try and make the best decision with everything I do. I also like to parent from a positive parenting approach.

    #23434

    Tamara
    Participant
    Fan Points: 328

    I agree with the whole sweets for breakfast thing!! My little one knows that she cannot have anything “lekker” until she has had a decent breakfast.

    Unfortunately I also find myself “picking my battles” and to be honest I’m
    I agree with the whole sweets for breakfast thing!! My little one knows that she cannot have anything “lekker” until she has had a decent breakfast.

    Unfortunately I also find myself “picking my battles” and to be honest I’m okay with that. Obviously the big things like healthy eating, hygiene (brushing teeth and washing hair), manners and discipline are my “no budge areas” but when it comes to things she would prefer to wear other than the items I’ve picked out, I honestly don’t see the point of having my child in tears and me at my wits end just before I leave the house. As children get older they like to make their own decisions and I believe it’s good for them and it promotes independence. For me sometimes the after math of something that feels so silly just isn’t worth it for me.

    I honestly don’t agree with giving in to every whim and teary eye but honestly I feel picking your battles keeps a healthy balance 😛 otherwise I can also hear myself saying NO all-day every day.

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