March 13, 2018 at 1:49 pm #30117
What do you do when your child just clashes with another? We had a playdate this past weekend and while there were a few extra children around, my little girl who is such a little lady and gets on with everyone, seemed to have a personality clash of note with a little boy who was there. While we were there, the kids were playing outside and I was watching them, my little one walked past this boy and he stopped, turned around, put down what he was carrying and hit my little girl on the back. As soon as I saw it, I called her over and just said to her that she must try her utmost to ignore this little boy. He was then chanting that her dress was ugly and just incising her at any opportunity he had. When my little girl had had enough, she did something that is completely out of character and it had me completely shocked. We heard screams and crying from the bedroom and this little boy was in tears, it turns out that they had started fighting and my little one hit him. In almost six years I had never been in this situation, I had no idea how to react. What would you have done if you were in my position?March 13, 2018 at 2:07 pm #30119
As much as I don’t condone fighting of any kind. I would say that your little girl was actually defending herself. Not in the best of ways but honestly what would you have preferred? Your little girl fighting back or crying of being sort of bullied? I would prefer the fighting back and standing her ground on this one as she was provoked and teased. Definitely that little boy has learnt his lesson not to tease and bully little girls. Dynamite does come in small packages.
As much as I know many mothers will not agree with me, but if my son behaved in that manner with a little girl and this happened to be the outcome, I definitely would have not reacted to this as he had brought it upon himself.
This is one of the ways that bullying starts, and if parents blindly shield their kids when they have done something wrong it actually encourages them to continue bullying other kids.March 13, 2018 at 5:13 pm #30150
Tamara after reading this I think you daughter is much older than my little guy. My tips for travelling won’t be age appropriate. Sorry. They won’t help you much.March 14, 2018 at 1:05 pm #30185
@anrivisser – Not at all, I have read some of your tips on my travelling post and I managed to take a few things away from them. For example, not taking my little one to the airport, I had not even thought of that, it was the plan for her and her dad to take me, but you are 100% right, if she cries it will break me and while she would be over it in 5 minutes it would probably ruin my entire trip. Your tip on not calling at bedtime was also brilliant, her father and I have decided I will call in the mornings instead. I wanted to ask you, her dad and I share custody and he does have a duplicate card of my medical aid, would I still need to leave Power of Attorney?
You have helped more than you know, so thank you 🙂March 14, 2018 at 1:19 pm #30189
You know @ron03, I completely agree with you. When my daughter and I were in the car discussing it on the way home, she told me that the little boy hit her outside while they were playing, I told her that I had seen that and that I was not cross with her at all. Her response to me was “but what did I do wrong Mom”
My heart was so sore as I tried to explain to her that she had actually done nothing wrong and there was no reason for that little boy to smack her. When we got home, I proceeded to call her Dad to inform him what had happened, I found myself leading with “I know this might sound sick, but I am so proud of our baby.” I felt like SUCH a terrible person, but if you met my daughter, you would see just how soft, loving, and non-confrontational she is, so much so that I used to have sleepless nights worrying about her being bullied and not being able to stand up for herself if she has to. So I had a chat with her and explained that she wasn’t in trouble at all and I told her than when needs be she needs to do what she needs to do and I will sort out the rest. BUT in the same breath I made it very clear to her that it is NOT OK to go around teasing are smacking other children, that she must try and play nicely with all children she meets. She understood and she has never mentioned it again.
You must be logged in to reply to this topic.