I could never be a full time Stay At Home mom, I’m just not built that way!
Talking to my husband a week ago about the struggles I have juggling everything turned out to be quite a mind-opening experience. I explained the usual difficulties of trying to manage a household, run a business and bring up 2 children. He responded that he feels that with the roles of women changing it has made life difficult for men. The traditional family has now changed with women wanting independence and not wanting to sit at home bringing up children and running the house while the men work and are the bread winners.
His expectation growing up was that he would one day get married, have children and have a “normal” married life. One where his wife stayed at home, cooked his meals, ran the household and looked after the kids. And along comes me. When I was pregnant I thought he was so sweet asking me if I wanted to be a stay at home mom and he would support the family. I thought it was sweet, but hell no! Give up my work and be reliant on someone else for everything? The thought of having to ask for some pocket money to go out for coffee with a friend or to buy a can of Coke makes my blood run cold, and what about that pair of killer heels that are grossly overpriced and I will hardly ever wear but I just want them?
This difference in expectations and opinions brought about some difficulties for both of us. He wanted our children to stay at home for as long as possible before starting preschool, minimum 1 year but hopefully 2 years. My mind says: “Wow honey, can you really afford to take off 2 years from work”. Then the resentment creeps in that of course not, that hadn’t even occurred to him, it is the woman’s job to look after the children!
Personally I think the “househusband” idea is great. Mommies, imagine this: You get up in the morning and just go to work. Yes, no packing of school bags, lunches or anything like that. Quite the contrary, when you leave home there is lunch ready and packed for YOU! When you walk in from work the house is clean and tidy, your clothes have been washed, dried and packed away. You open the fridge and your favourite drink has magically been replenished and is waiting for you. The kids are clean and ready for a bit of mommy time. Supper is ready, a healthy, yummy hot meal and it is just sitting on the table waiting for you. All you have to do is sit down, pick up your fork and shovel it in! After you have eaten your food all you have to do is move your body from the table to the couch and pick up the remote control for the tv. The only irritation is the sound of kids shrieking in the bath and then a bit later the annoying clanking sound of dishes being washed in the sink. The only thing I have to do for this is hand over the majority of my monthly salary? Done deal!
And no my husband is not a chauvinistic type, but the roles in the family have been set for a long time and us women are trying to break free. I think it is just a little hard for the men to swallow.