Even the easiest and most amicable breakup is painful and it takes time to heal and move on. When you go through an especially bad breakup it can feel like your world is coming to an end. It’s no surprise that the pain and heartache of breakups are the theme of many love songs.
Whether you ended the relationship yourself or the other party ended the relationship you will need to heal and time some time to get your mental health back on track.
Here’s how to get over a breakup as fast as possible and in a healthy way:
Allow Yourself To Cry
There’s nothing wrong with a good cry, in fact it often feels so much better after letting it all out. Let yourself feel your emotions without any guilt or blaming. Remember that this is a painful time. Trying to bottle up your feelings and your tears is not going to help you move on.
Remove Your Ex From Your Life
While you don’t have to avoid your ex forever it will help you to move on if you don’t see your ex’s name and face all over the place. Remove your ex from your phone contacts and from your social media accounts. Remove all photos and mementos of your ex.
Do Not Contact Your Ex
Even if you don’t really want to get back with your ex you will probably miss him (or her) and feel lonely and lost alone. There will be a temptation to get back together just to avoid feeling unpleasant feelings. Resist this temptation – it will only prolong the unpleasantness and take longer for you both to recover from the breakup.
If your ex ended the relationship you may have hopes of getting back together, but always keep in mind that you should go through a period of improvement without contacting your ex first.
Don’t Get Drunk
It is so common for people that are going through a breakup to go out and get drunk – which very often ends up with embarrassing results. You may phone your ex or find yourself outside his house causing a disturbance.
Remember that alcohol does not make you feel better, in fact alcohol will make you feel worse – especially if you wake up hungover cringing because of something you did under the influence. Drinking alcohol is not a healthy coping mechanism.
Lean On Your Friends and Family
Spend time with your friends and family. Granted you may not be the best company for a while but you do need support from your loved ones and it is easier to get through tough times with a shoulder to cry on.
Take Care of Yourself
Yes you may want to crawl under your blankets and not come out – and this is totally fine for a little while. Then you need to come out and take care of yourself.
Make sure that you are eating enough of the right foods. You will be surprised how much of a role your nutrition plays when it comes to your mental health.
Have a bath, wash your hair and paint your toenails. You will be amazed how much better you will feel.
Exercising will give you a healthy outlet for your pent up anger. You can do yoga or pilates to help you to relax or if you are feeling very angry and betrayed try taking up kickboxing.
Breathing exercises will also do you the world of good.
Expect Highs and Lows
Recovering from a breakup, or any sort of trauma, does not happen in a straight line. Just because today you may be feeling on top of the world does not mean that tomorrow will be good. If you are feeling great at this moment make sure to be prepared that it can change at any moment. Remember this too when you are feeling very low – it will get better.
Don’t Trash Your Ex
It may feel great to bash your ex to make yourself feel better but it isn’t a nice thing to do. You may be angry right now but that is someone that you did care greatly for and you shared a part of your life with that person.
This is especially important if you have kids. Make sure not to badmouth your ex to your kids or in front of your kids.
Keep It Off Social Media
Facebook may be full of drama but keep yours off of it. Yes you can change your Facebook status from being in a relationship to being single but you don’t need to share all the sordid details with the world.
Put Your Kids First
If you have children together it is essential that you put the welfare of your kids first. Show your ex respect, especially in front of your children and make sure that every decision you make is made with the kids in mind. For example you may want to move to another continent to get away from your ex, but the best thing for your children is to be close to both parents.
Jumping from one relationship into a new one won’t give you any time to properly heal and work through all of your feelings. You won’t be doing yourself any favours and you will be taking emotional baggage into your new relationship.
Give yourself time in between relationships to find your feet.
Reconnect With The Things You Love
Very often in a relationship we lose sight of ourselves as an individual. We often give up things we love without realizing it. Reconnect with these things again. It will help to keep you busy and it will bring you joy.
Plan For The Evenings and Weekends
Week days are filled with work, errands, shopping and chores but evenings and weekends are usually when couples and families send time together.
You may find your days easy to get through but then eating for one and climbing into bed alone can seem like daunting tasks. Come up with a plan to get through these hard moments until it gets a little easier.